5 Life Lessons from My Journey with Adult Coloring Books

I want to be the fish in the mint cool river Free flowing escape on my mind

I started my coloring journey in late June 2020 during the Covid-19 pandemic. I had been gifted the book a couple of years ago. Once a while, the book silently crept into my thoughts and was easily ignored. When it knocked on my mind's door, I would calm it down by telling myself that colors needed to be bought.

I believed that I didn't have an artistic bone in my body. I can't sketch or paint or sculpt or play an instrument or sing. So how can I color? That too pages and pages of intricate drawings in Enchanted Forest. I would be really bad at it. I would fail.

I got my starter kit in June and till now I have done 23 pages of coloring. I am thoroughly enjoying myself. It is meditative and therapeutic at the same time

I have learned some valuable life lessons till this point in my journey.

LL1: Passion / interests are all around. Staring me in the face. I just have to take a risk and jump right in. 

The title page. Name not written.
Perhaps waiting to learn calligraphy.

A passion or interest may be something you have never tried before. Or you think you might be bad at. I smashed the belief that I can't color in 2 steps.

Step 1 was to just buy a starter kit of colors. Not too expensive or too cheap, so that I would not feel bad if I had to give them away when I failed.

Step 2 was to start colouring. I started on the title page (and did not write my name on the page). Again, playing it safe, so that others could use the book if, I failed.

The voice in my head still said "I can't" & "I will fail". Till I started. And I saw that I wasn't as bad as I thought.

At work (as in personal life), don't let your mind prevent you for starting something you have never done before. Jump right in give it a go with an open mind. Start with small steps. Celebrate the wee successes. 

Emerald Ice and Orange Lollie castle

LL2: People's reactions matter. I need validation. I choose my "validators". I keep them close.

We all need validators. People who give us honest critical feedback, praise and encourage us, share thier knowledge, or just guide us to try different things. These people also provide us a safety net so that we can jump off a cliff, once a while.

I would not have continued to color and share my work, if my friends did not like, comment, give and seek advice on coloring. Some of them artists themselves. 

I also followed social media groups of people who openly share of themselves and thier art. To read and watch what they do, thier techniques, thier creativity. I am so grateful to them.

Building a network of people who don't hesitate to give critical feedback is essential to grow our careers. We also need people who advise, encourage, and cheer us on. Validators at work.

So many mistakes in this one

LL3: I will make mistakes. It's OK. The world will not end because of my mistakes.

To me, my coloring mistakes are glaring and stand out. I spot them immediately. Yet I still shared pictures with mistakes. Why? To get feedback. To seek some balance from the perspectives of others.

Often, others could not see what I thought were glaring mistakes (or they were too polite to tell me). So it wasn't as bad as I thought.

I do not know of a single project or initiative where mistakes and setbacks have not been an integral part. Professionally, I've learned to move on. Not to rethink, rehash, relive, and redo, ad nauseum. Rather, I spend time to understand why something went wrong so that I can prevent it from happening again. Or to learn how to recover from setbacks. 

I've learned that mistakes do not define who I am. Mistakes are a part of my journey.

This bountiful chest of treasures reminds me

that I need to focus on all that I have

and not what I have lost

LL4: The more I learn, the more I am able to learn. 

I am fortunate that my work requires me to learn something new everyday. The more I learn, the more, I think, I am programming my brain to learn.

For someone who thought I could not color - a skill that young children have and revel in - I learned about coloring in my 50s. About colors that compliment each other. About contours, highlights, hues and shades. About different types of coloring methods.

I realise that I can learn anything I want to, if I really want to. At my pace and time.  

So learn something new regularly. Get a mentor or coach or teacher if you need one. Or just learn by yourself. Explore. Experiment. Practice to become better. 

Any direction is the right direction if I am centered well

LL5: I can be individualistic and creative even when I have to work "between the lines"

I believe in processes, rules, regulations. They give me comfort. They make things consistent. They can also be restrictive and boring. And sometimes just wrong. Even then, I don't break rules or violate processes. I respect them enough to change them if they don't work for me.

Starting on a journey of coloring between the lines felt strange. Would I get frustrated and give up if I was forced to conform?

Conform, I didn't. Leaves were colors other than green. Animals were purple and red. I added lines, and curves, and dots. 

The workplace is also full of standards, rules, and processes that have to be followed. Yet you can question status quo, bring in creativity, find an innovative solution, change the way you and your team work. All with a goal to improve outcomes and experiences.

My coloring journey continues. I am sure there will be much to learn and change. 

If you are interested in trying your hand at coloring, I started with:

1. Enchanted Forest - An Inky Quest and Coloring Book by Johanna Basford

2. Starter kit of colors consisted of water soluble  color pencils and gel pens from HobbyCraft India

How to find the right mentor

Over the last 4 years, Diversity Dialogs has trained and coached over 3000 women in middle to senior management. We are often asked, "How do I find the right mentor", or worse still, "How can I get a mentor assigned to me?" 

I believe that the foundation of mentoring is performance. You have to have good performance. Not  outstanding / superlative performance. Good performance is good enough. High performers are often selected by mentors themselves. It is the rest, the good performers, who need to find mentors.

You have to have good performance that showcases your expertise, impact and values, if you want to find a mentor.

Assuming you are a good performer, here are the steps I recommend you follow to find the right mentor. The steps are broken into 3 phases:

• Phase 1: Self-evaluation and Preparation 
• Phase 2: Search and Select 
• Phase 3: Take Action 

Phase 1 : Self-evaluation and Preparation 

Step 1: Be clear about your career aspirations. Write them down. State what you want to achieve in the immediate future, after 2 years and after 5 years. List roles and not statements that just float in ether, like, "I want to do something more challenging" or "I want to lead operations for a more complex customer".  If your aspiration is non-specific, then how can you expect to find a mentor who can help you get to where you want to go ('coz even you don't know where you are going).

A career aspiration is not a designation. It is a role.

You may need to craft a role, if none exists. Design it, garner support, sell it.

But role it must be, as it helps people slot your aspirations within the organization's framework and makes it easily recognisable and relatable.

Step 2: Determine the real gap between your current skills and skills needed for the next and future roles. Conduct a brutally real and honest evaluation. Refer to critical feedback. Request a special evaluation. Have candid conversations with people. 

Also, create a specific list of skills needed for the roles in your career aspirations path.

Underestimating or overestimating the gaps can lead you to waste time in acquiring skills you may not need. Worse still, you may look for and build a relationship with a mentor that does not help you grow your career. 

Don't forget to jot down and share the achievements that highlight your current skills / expertise. They come handy when you want to establish a baseline. 

Step 3: Create and execute a skill gap closure plan. You have to know which skill gaps you can close by learning, or taking on a new/expanded role or project etc. 

You have to take skill building actions to know where are you getting stuck and where you need help. Try solving roadblocks yourself first. When you can't - you've probably narrowed down the areas where you need mentoring. You can not be specific about the situations, your actions, what's worked and not worked. All needed to determine at what level you need mentoring.   

Don't identify more than 3 areas where you need mentoring. Anything more, de-focuses your conversations and efforts. 

Step 4: Flesh out the end objective / outcome of the mentoring relationship. Write a list of questions you would like to answer or outcomes you want to achieve by the end of your mentoring relationship. Get as specific as you can. 

This sets the boundaries of the expectations of the relationship. 

Don't expect your mentor to have a magic pill or wand or crystal ball that will dramatically reveal your needs to them. 

Having clear expectations, also helps you close a mentoring relationship gracefully if you are not getting what you want.

Mentoring is not an unending, forever relationship tho' at the end of it you may become friends. When that happens the the relationship moves into the realm of friendship. 

Friends can be (and often should be) mentors. Mentors do not have to be friends.

Phase 2: Search and Select

Now that you know where you need help, the specific areas, you can go out to find someone who you would like to be mentored by.

Step 5: Create a list of people you admire for the display and impact of the skills you are looking for. These have to be people in your network. People who you have helped. People who who have benefitted from your successes or capabilities. Only if you have given in some way can you expect to receive in return. 

 Expecting to be mentored by someone who does not know you, is a pipe dream. It's not going to happen.   

If there is no one in your network who meets your criteria, then go out to cultivate them. Help them. Showcase what you are capable of. Yes, this will take time, but it's better than nothing. 

Some organizations assign mentors to people. I suggest you not rely on that. You have to Take Charge© of your career and find the right mentor for you. When someone in HR finds you a mentor, they will find someone they think will give you, what they think you need, & someone who they think (again!) will gel with you. Do you really want to rely on what someone else thinks about you or do you want to depend on knowing yourself well? 

Always have a Plan B (and possibly a Plan C). The first person you choose is not always going to be able to help you. So have list of the top 3 people you would like as mentors in each area. 

Mentors are not necessarily people who are senior to you in an organization. 

Depending on what you need to be mentored on, the mentor could be someone junior in age or experience. Look for people with superlative, demonstrated skills  in your area of need.

Step 6: Determine what you can offer them. A relationship is not worth it if there is no give and take. When you are selecting a mentor, be clear about what you can offer them. This means you need to understand them well, know what they are doing, challenges they face, tasks that they could or would like to be relieved off, etc. Research them well.

Be ready with more than one helping / giving option.

Weave this into the conversation vs asking your mentor if you can help them with something. 

Phase 3: Take Action     

Step 7: Ask for what you want. Not, "I would like you to mentor me" or "Will you be my mentor?" Throwing out a generic comment like that does pull anyone into a relationship. 

It's better to ask for specific help (remember you jotted some things down in Step 4?) Set expectations clearly. This also helps your mentor understand the time and effort they need to invest and what the exit conditions or criteria are.

For example, if you want to be mentored in public speaking you could tell them that you want to establish your expertise by speaking at a seminar. Then ask  what helped them become a called-upon speaker. How did they start? What strengths and connections did they use? What strengths or connections should you be leveraging? What pitfalls should you be careful of? Share what you have done in the area of public speaking. What's worked and what hasn't.

Step 8: Sign a contract. If the help and support you need requires a series of conversations or meetings, create a contract. How often do you want to meet / chat, for how long, where, what time works for both of you, what's the best way to reach out to each other, the outcome of these sessions, etc.  

I have found that my most successful mentoring relationships have been those where we had set clear boundaries, expectations, schedules etc.

Though a contract has responsibilities of both parties, you need to drive it and not your mentor. You are the main beneficiary and you need to take ownership.

The contract does not have to be a written contract. Your word is as good as any signature. 

Step 9: Let them know if you have other mentors. It is quite possible that you may have more than one mentor at a time. Its respectful to let your mentors know that there are others who you are seeking support and advice from. My suggestion is that you not have more than 3 mentors at a time as you may get confused. Also, you may like to work with them on different aspects or skill gaps you.

Step 10: Always do what you promise to do, when you promise to do it, and with the level of quality that your mentor expects. The most insulting thing you can do to a mentor is not to put into action what you have agreed to. And not to report back your progress, successes, and challenges. Mentors can only help if you let them experience how committed you are to growing and how far you have travelled.

Do more than is expected or agreed on. Mentors want to see initiative and your ability to extrapolate from your conversations

Your reputation as a protégé precedes you. If you get a reputation of being someone who can not or does not implement actions, it will tarnish your other relationships and make it harder to find a mentor in the future.

Here are additional tips on how to be a successful protégé

How to be a Successful Protégé - Make the Most of Your Coaching Relationship

Over the last 3 years we have trained and coached 1000s of women at mid to senior levels. 

Here are our insights on what successful protégés do to make the most of the coaching relationship and opportunity.

1. Have Clear Career Aspirations: Protégés who know what they want from their careers, let their aspirations drive the coaching relationship and actions. If they start the coaching relationship without clear career aspirations, they are quick to define aspirations and path for themselves. They are clear about what to focus on. What to do, achieve, and showcase to get that bigger / enhanced role. They take charge of the coaching process, understanding that the onus of the success of the relationship rests with them. 

2. Put Career Front and Center: Successful protégés prioritise the time and effort needed for self development, learning, actions, and meetings. They view this as an investment. Many have honed their skills of pushing back and saying "no", because they have had to say it more than once to ensure they can attend sessions or  complete committed actions. Coaching sessions are not seen as one more thing to add to a packed day but something that is critical enough to clear calendars, objections, obstacles. Many have shared that the more of this they do, the more time they have.

3. Perfect Project Management:  Protégés who make the most progress, growing faster than planned, complete actions. These women apply strict project management principles and practices to define outcomes and  actions needed to reach those outcomes. They not only complete actions but also report out progress - good, bad, and ugly. When they get stuck, they look for other options, ask for resources, move non-critical activities. And they are regular.

4. Aren't Deterred by Failures: Failures did cause some protégés tear up and cry. Sometimes it was sadness, sometimes it was frustration. But each time they got back on the horse, so to say, and found a path with fewer hurdles and barricades. They realise that to get what they want, they need to try another approach. One even told me that she was so much more determined that she was like an earth mover that pushed the sh** aside.

5. Create Own Path: These protégés did not expect me, as their coach, to tell them what to do (as many protégés often do). They weigh the responses to the open ended questions, that they ask. Of course, they want to know what worked for me and I had to be careful, as what works for me does not and may not work for them. I have learned so much from them - their questions, reactions, decisions, and decision making process.

6. Use Technology to your Advantage: By this I don't mean use Skype or Google Hangouts for coaching conversations. Protégés used WhatApp, voicemails, emails, social media, blogs, etc  to talk about their personal growth, challenges, struggles, ask questions, seek information, find options and alternatives. They learned how to build & leverage relationships from remote locations.

7. Ask for Help: Protégés did not shy away from seeking help. They recognised when they need it and they actively sought it. Not just from their coach but from their network. A protégé once called me 3 hours before a critical and tough customer meeting (one that had all the signs of being a bloodbath) because she was feeling under confident and unsure of reaching the outcome she wanted. She needed a boost. Asked for it. She got one. And came back with more than just commitments to revitalise the project.

8. Pull as You Climb: I was most impressed by the protégés who started to actively coach others and incorporate their learning from these coaching / mentoring engagements into their own career and self development. I was amazed by how well they thought thru' whom to coach, how to help their protégés define and set the pace, set up their protégés for success. They were sponges that soaked up experiences, incidents, stories, skills and brought them out when needed.

9. Practice Reflective Thinking: Without being told about reflective thinking, I found that protégés who did the best were the ones who were able to take a step back, remove themselves from the situation / challenge to look at and understand the context, need, drivers, implications. They focused on the bigger picture and where they fit in it. They let the bigger picture drive what they wanted to do / could do / had to do.

10. Show Gratitude: The best protégés did not take coaching for granted. They showed that they understood the value of the investment in time, money, effort that the organization and coaches put in. And they put an even higher value on all the effort they have to put in to grow their careers. They realise that they have to do all the heavy lifting to grow - do more, do things better, achieve more. They are grateful in action not words.

--- These insights are based on training & coaching 1000s of women by Diversity Dialogs
To contact us, click here.

18 Actions To Achieve Personal-Professional Life Balance

Photo:https://www.wholelifechallenge.com

I believe that there are a number of simple actions that I have taken to balance the time and effort I spend on work and at home.

First, I am going to call it Personal-Professional life balance and not work-life balance as it is normally called.

Why?

1. The semantics. "Work-Life Balance" implies that work is not life and life is not work. The term creates a conflict where there should be none. For me, work is life & life is work. What I want is to be able to balance my personal and professional lives.
2. At any given point of time, both cannot be in balance. Sometimes my personal life will need to take center stage - all my mind share, time, effort, focus, money; and sometimes my professional life will take center stage. That's just the way it is. I just Accept it and get on with it!

So How Do I Balance My Personal & Professional Lives?

Mumbai Dubbawallas
Photo: The Hindu

Ensure quality work is delivered on time, every time

It builds credibility. Credibility I learnt, is far more important than the time I get to work or leave work. People at work and home have come to depend on my delivering on promises. Delivering quality can happen anywhere - at work, sitting on the floor outside an ICCU, at a vacation hotspot. For a couple of years our team delivered and billed 15 days in advance so that our entire business unit could close down over Christmas and New Year! We loved it!!

Communicate Availability

I let people know in advance if I am not going to be available - whether it is 3 days attending a Strategy Meeting or half-a-day for a doctor's visit. This helps us all plan for completion and/or approvals well in advance of my "unavailable" time. My teams also know that I do not want to be disturbed during this time and that they will get delayed responses. If we are in the middle of a super critical project, I plan a check-in time and number.

Communicate Response Times

I let people know when they can expect a response from me. And I stick to maintaining these response times! From letting my household staff know exactly when they will get the advance pay they asked for, to a 24-hour response time on emails. Communicating expected response time cuts down on useless reminder calls / emails and prevents people from calling me to check whether I have received and read an email or report and what my response is.

My Outlook calendar can look like this
on any given Monday!

Put everything on one calendar

Calendars are great tools. They help us plan and schedule work in offices. I use my calendar to schedule personal work too - from dinner with friends to payment due dates of bills to shopping expeditions and vacations. Not only does it let me see all that I have committed to do, but also helps me allocate time judiciously. I share my calendar with my teams so that they are aware of time that I have blocked off, and they respect and appreciate it.

Plan and communicate me-time

Both at work or at home, I plan and announce to people that I am spending time on thinking, or research, or whatever it is that I need time for. I plan for time to read, or write or catch up on sleep. And everyone is told that this is my time and not to disturb me. I have an unwritten rule, that gives me 30 mins alone time after I get home from work. I use this time to take a shower or read or watch TV. At office I block-off several hours a week to read or do research.

Phone covers are very useful  

Avoid your phone

I often work with my phone on silent or face down / cover shut, so that I am not disturbed by calls or flashing alerts. I have a different ringtone for calls from immediate family - set to ring even when on silent. At off-times, my teams (including supervisors) know that they can call me in a certain window iff "the building is burning down". I avoid looking at my phone when out meeting friends or shopping or watching a movie. I don't answer every call I get if I am already engaged with someone or something.

Return calls / messages when convenient to you

As I don't pick up my phone every time it rings, or read messages immediately when I am focusing on work (personal or professional), I make a point of reading / responding to calls that I have missed 2-3 times in a day. People know this and respect it.

Be connected without being a slave to work or home

Technology must work for me vs take over my life. I get the technology I need to connect "at will". I use technology to listen to music whilst I work or clear emails when a flight is delayed. I have ordered dinner for guests scheduled to arrive at home at the same time as me - I was just coming from another city! I shut down my computer when at home. And every time I reach for it, I ask myself, "Do I really need to boot up my machine?". The answer is often, "No."

Avoid working on weekends and off-time / bringing work home

I define work-free times (evenings, mornings, weekends). At these times, even if I am on my laptop or using my phone, and I can see that there are many unread messages on my official email or WhatsApp groups, I do not open them. It takes a lot of will power! When I want to work at home, I ask the question "Does this really need to be done now?" It’s the same question I ask if I want to do personal work at the office.

Avoid hanging around the office

I don't hang around the office just because my boss is there or for a phone call from an overseas customer. I leave when I have finished work. I take late night & early morning calls from home. Customers have happily conferenced me into calls when I have told then how late or early it will be with the time difference. If I am hanging around the office after finishing for the day, it is to connect with friends and chat.

Say "No"

I cannot do everything. I have to say "No" both at work and at home. I have said "No" to new projects or to entertaining relatives on weekdays. It's better to say "No" than to find that I am unable to deliver. Why keep the door ajar for guilt to waltz in and stay for free?

Prepare the night before or the weekend before

If I have a very hectic week ahead, I do take a few hours off from my personal time to prepare for a mad week or clear my emails so that I have no pending work to nag me. It is well worth it. It helps me sleep well on Sunday night. The same works for the day / night before a big presentation.

Stick to a sleep, exercise, eat routine

I have been asked if I can take a call at 5:30am in the morning (from someone on the West Coast, USA) and I have said "No. I will be out for a walk then. Can we make it an hour later?". I have said no to calls that clash with the time I spend with my father, or dinner time at home. I find that if we give people alternate times to call / meet so that we can stick to our routine, they understand and are willing to be flexible. We've just gotta ask!

Respect others' personal time

If I want people to respect my time - personal or professional time, then I need to respect their time. I avoid calling colleagues, about work, on a weekend or holiday. I also learnt the hard way, not to send emails on a weekend or holiday. I once noticed that my program managers were responding to my emails on weekends. When I asked them why, they told me that I sent emails on weekends and hence they thought they were expected to respond. I was horrified that they logged in on Sunday mornings just to respond to my emails! I soon learnt to keep emails in my outbox or drafts folder, so that they could be sent out on a Monday morning.

Understand the company's policy on flex-work / work-from-home / telecommuting

Many companies have policies that allow for work flexibility. It’s worth spending time reading and understanding these policies & their applicability. Telecommuting even a day a week can add hours to the time you have to spend on personal work. Just remember, the better a performer you are, the better the chances that you will be able to avail of these policies.

Stop wanting perfection

Super-woman / superman are fictional characters. We are bombarded with ads and messages on being "Super" whatever-the-gender! And that makes us believe that we all need to be "Super". It is impossible to do everything right all the time. I have missed movies and concerts and networking events. I have pushed guilt away when I miss these. And that's OK!

Co-opt / commandeer help

I don't believe that I have to do it all. And I am not going to be a martyr to the cause of the do-it-all super-woman. So I try to co-opt people to help - spouse, parent, paid help - basically whoever it takes to be able to give me more time for myself. I also believe that co-opting children to do chores is a great idea. My mom rostered our chores - cooking, washing clothes, laying and clearing the table, cleaning bathrooms, dusting, sweeping and swabbing, et al. She has even paid us to iron our own clothes. I think I am a better person because of it!

Nurture a hobby

It does not matter what it is. It just has to be something you are passionate about. I have even had on-and-off hobbies (stitching and baking) and consistent hobbies (reading) over the years. A hobby for me is something that I do for myself and not others. Something that makes me forget the passage of time. I am now planning to sort thru the boxes and boxes of stamps I have - another possible hobby? :-) Whatever the hobby is, I believe that my time and effort spent on it is as important as anything else in my life.

Ladies, Stop Looking Only For Women Mentors, Coaches, and Role Models

March 2013: Women of the Border Security Force
Lead the Beating Retreat Ceremony at the Wagah Border

At the recent SHEROES Summit, time and again speakers were asked:

1. Why are there limited women role models?
2. How do we find more women mentors and coaches?

SHEROES does tremendous work enabling women to define and find the careers they want within the cultural and social constraints and biases that are common in India and yet there were questions on how to find women mentors, coaches and role models. These questions got me thinking.

As a woman who has worked ~30 years in male dominated industries, companies, and teams, I have rarely sought out a female mentor or coach. My role models have been successful people. People. Not just women. People who have skills, value systems and behaviours that I admire, and want to learn from.

This could possibly be because 30 or 20 or even 10 years ago there were even fewer women in senior roles in the companies I worked for or networked with than there are today. So I am even more surprised that in this day and age, where there are so many more women in the workforce, women are still looking for gender specific mentors, coaches and role models.

Why are women seeking other women to be their mentors & coaches?

Gel Pen Coloring by Mercy Valson

1.  I believe women-only programs, tho' well intentioned, have built a belief that only women can and will help other women grow personally and professionally. The question to ask is whether you believe that as a woman you can grow without the men who can form upto 95% of the workforce in many companies and industries.

2.  Women tend to think that only other women can understand them. Not true. This is like saying that only a parent can understand another parent. Any rational adult can understand and empathise with another adult.  Gender is not the determining criteria.

3.  A successful woman can tell another woman how to get there. First, no one can tell you how to achieve what you want. They can help you find the way by asking you the right questions. You have to do the analysis and introspection, define your goals and time frame, acquire the skills needed, etc. All this has nothing to do with gender.

4.  A woman can aspire to be only as good as another woman.  Really??? If that was true, we would never have had a woman astronaut or Prime Minister or pilot or a hundred other careers that were male-only bastions. Women who are passionate about what they do and want to achieve their dreams, don't care about whether there are other women in that space, they just go out and create space for themselves.

Why looking for women mentors only may slow your growth?

Photo: www.womenmeanbusiness.com

1. Often there are too few women in management to be able to mentor women across all levels in an organization. A mentoring relationship is a long term relationship and needs investment of time and energy. It is also a two way relationship. If you are a woman looking for mentoring from a senior woman leader, then remember she can't mentor 10 - 20 people. At best she can effectively mentor 2-4 people at a time. Are you one of the 2 people who she can and should mentor?

2. If you are working in a male dominated industry, would it not be better to have a male coach or mentor? Someone who can help you navigate the system, a system that he is familiar with, whose language and nuances he has worked with and through? Wouldn't it be great to have a male advocate in a male dominated company? I have found many male colleagues who are great developers, nurturers, supporters, and promoters of woman. We need to identify and reach out to them.

3. A role model is a role model. They are achievers. They have value systems and behaviours that are admirable. They have lived real lives and have real stories to share. Finding the right role model to emulate is far more important than the gender of the role model. Looking for gender first limits your choices of role models and hence your growth.

4. Looking for only a woman mentor or coach may just be re-enforcing your subconscious belief that your gender is more important and dominant (or restrictive) that your knowledge, skills, behaviours and attitude. Question why you are looking for a woman as a mentor or coach or role model. If it is because you feel comfortable talking with women, it may be time to break out of your comfort zone. If breaking out of your comfort zone is difficult, then actively find a woman mentor or coach to help you - there are many good women out there.

There are times when a women mentor or a women only forum is just what you need. A place to voice your aspirations, challenges, and struggles with other women. A zone where there is the comfort of privacy or people just get it without too many explanations. Just as you need this space, so do other women. Find these forums and actively work in them, mentoring other women. Sometimes paying-it-forward is the best way to find the right mentor for yourself.

So, don't wait for your company to start a women's network, or a mentoring / coaching program.  I believe women would benefit from spending some time, ideally facilitated by a professional, charting their goals, understanding their competencies and what they need to develop to grow, finding the best mentor or coach, learning how to approach them, and committing to working with mentors and coaches.

Just as all professionals invest in acquiring qualifications & certifications

I am asking women to invest in personal coaching or mentoring

Within and outside their organizations
By a coach or mentor, whatever their gender